June 16, 2003

So its been a while since I've been here..... exams, life, leaving for the summer, etc. Why is it the older you get the more complex life becomes? For some reason life was much more simple- the smallest things brought me the greatest joy. Now, I have yet to discover something or someone that really brings me to that level of enjoyment. I was having a convo with Ocdee the other day about love and marriage- who out of our plethora of friends will get married first and who shapes your idea of what to expect in a mate. Adressing the first issue- I've always been told one of my close friends "Mia" (name changed to protect identity) that she feels like I will be the one to concentrate on my career for years, date various professionals, and then somewhere in my 40's settle down with a blue collar worker and pop out some kids. Personally that's not at all what I envision for my life. Ocdee told me that she doesn't envision me as a single girl and for some reason that made me feel better. Mia knows me, but not the me that went through Spelman, and not the me that has been through an "emotional rolllercoaster" in the past 4 years. Mia is a little consumed with Mia's problems and nothing else, and it bothers me that she often tries to belittle my life although she's not doing nearly as much. Mia is someone I'm not so close with any more. Now that I've vented about Mia- back to my discussion about marriage. I asked Ocdee why she thought i seemed as if I would marry. In essence she responded- because of my upbringing and the fact that I'm more interested in long term goals and how a person treats me than what they can do for me or buy me. A friend of hers who we'll call Shelby is what she feels would be someone that's more interested in living the single girl life. I wonder what really determines, other than God, who is the marrying type and when someone is really ready to enter into to that lifelong commitment? I'm learning ladies and gents so I'll let you know when i find out. So on to my next question- what and who shapes the embodiment of your ideal mate, and will you ever find someone that even comes close. I will say that a father has a lot to do with it. I do have a pretty great one myself. We argue, he gets on my nerves, I wish he was a little more communicative, but as a whole I love the guy and I would say a lot of the traits I look for in a man are ones that he possesses and ones that would compliment my personality. With all of that said..... I think i'm done. Love, peace, and happiness.