Okay, so I told you guys that I would post two things: THE ORIGINAL E-MAIL entitled : It's not that complicated AND Other questions posed in the process of responding to my original inquiry.
Here they are as promised!
Feel free to comment and also know that I will be posting my comments likely at some point tomorrow. If you'd like any of your comments from the previous e-mails to go up or you'd like some response, let me know and I'll post them myself or you can put your original e-mail response in the comments section for this entry. I hope this sparks an interesting dialogue/debate.
Something 4 women 2 think about....married women send this 2 your single
>friends.....
>
>I would have 2 say that in a lot of cases the following is
>true..............
>
>
> >Don't Fool Yourself
> >Peace and Blessings my sistas. I don't know if you've
> >read this, but i
> >found it to be very interesting and true.
> >
> >Men and Marriage: Don't Fool Yourself, It's Not
> >That Complicated(from a man's point of view...hmmmm!)
> >
> >On a Saturday afternoon I stood in my tuxes while my
> >friend and his
> >fiance'said their vows. As I stood up there looking
> >across
> >the crowd, I realized that alot of women may not want
> >to hear the
> >truth about men and marriage because the truth simple
> >that they could
> >not
> >accept it without questioning their own relationship.
> >But I am here to
> >tell
> >you -
> >DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.
> >The sad thing about it is that it took a woman to
> >bring it to my
> >attention. I had a close friend of mine tell me that
> >she was persuing a
> >stable man with a steady girlfriend.
> >When I asked her did she feel wrong about that she
> >said "Shyt, a
> >girlfriend ain't nothin - girlfriends come and go.
> >If the man is established and he isn't either
> >married or engaged, then he is not that serious
> >about her and he is fair game" I thought about this
> >for a
> >minute and came to a cold conclusion:
> > IF A MAN IS
> >STABLE IN LIFE AND HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT
> >MARRIED, THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE
> >WOMAN THAT HE IS WITH.
> >He is not willing to commit to her and constantly
> >has his eye open for something better or is waiting
> >for her to become something better. Point blank.
> >When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he
> >will make her his wife.
> >And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it
> >doesn't take 4 or 5 years for that man to figure it
> >out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years either. The only
> >reason that a man will get married after that long
> >of a time is because he's tired of looking for
> >something better. And trust me, that's definitely what
> >he was doing all of those years.
> >So if you should happen to find yourself in one
> >of those "long term" relationships then maybe you
> >should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder
> >what it is that you're missing that this man is not
> >willing to fully commit. Don't make excuses to
> >yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh
> >he's waiting til he gets a better job" or "he's
> >waiting to finish school" or "he's waiting until he
> >moves from his apartment to a house". DON'T FOOL
> >YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. Which one of
> >those things can't be done with a wife or fiance' by
> >your side?
> >So ladies, when you read this think about your
> >situation and that man that you are living with. Or
> >the one that you spend many nights over his house or
> >him over yours. Think about your baby's father that
> >you are still in a sexual relationship with. Think
> >about your "ex" that you are in a sexual
> >relationship with. Think about your "boyfriend". And definately think
> >twice before you brag on a relationship that's a couple of years long
> >and you still have no commitment.
> >Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the
> >situation. I've been there and I know that we can
> >come up with some extremely reasonable excuses,
> >but.....DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT
> >COMPLICATED.
My immediate question: Is it really as simple as this brotha makes it sound? Are relationships really that easy? Considering the current divorce rates- SHOULD IT BE THAT SIMPLE?
Now on to PART 2:
These questions were posed by one of those on the email list. It would definitely be more than interesting to read comments on the questions.
For everyone on this list that's not married:
When, if ever, does marriage become the goal of a relationship? Are folks getting into relationships in hopes of finding a soulmate, or simply because they enjoy the other person's company? I know that a wife was the last thing I was looking for when I met mine. In fact, I'm still trying to figure out how married men are "supposed" to act. Thus, I'm interested in hearing whether folks are cool to be in a relationship just because as opposed to working towards something permanent.
BY THE WAY, this isn't open to those only on the original e-mail. This was a pretty lively debate in my office between several of the paralegals, partners, and a few of the summer associates and I'm really interested in knowing what everyone thinks generally.
Here they are as promised!
Feel free to comment and also know that I will be posting my comments likely at some point tomorrow. If you'd like any of your comments from the previous e-mails to go up or you'd like some response, let me know and I'll post them myself or you can put your original e-mail response in the comments section for this entry. I hope this sparks an interesting dialogue/debate.
Something 4 women 2 think about....married women send this 2 your single
>friends.....
>
>I would have 2 say that in a lot of cases the following is
>true..............
>
>
> >Don't Fool Yourself
> >Peace and Blessings my sistas. I don't know if you've
> >read this, but i
> >found it to be very interesting and true.
> >
> >Men and Marriage: Don't Fool Yourself, It's Not
> >That Complicated(from a man's point of view...hmmmm!)
> >
> >On a Saturday afternoon I stood in my tuxes while my
> >friend and his
> >fiance'said their vows. As I stood up there looking
> >across
> >the crowd, I realized that alot of women may not want
> >to hear the
> >truth about men and marriage because the truth simple
> >that they could
> >not
> >accept it without questioning their own relationship.
> >But I am here to
> >tell
> >you -
> >DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.
> >The sad thing about it is that it took a woman to
> >bring it to my
> >attention. I had a close friend of mine tell me that
> >she was persuing a
> >stable man with a steady girlfriend.
> >When I asked her did she feel wrong about that she
> >said "Shyt, a
> >girlfriend ain't nothin - girlfriends come and go.
> >If the man is established and he isn't either
> >married or engaged, then he is not that serious
> >about her and he is fair game" I thought about this
> >for a
> >minute and came to a cold conclusion:
> > IF A MAN IS
> >STABLE IN LIFE AND HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT
> >MARRIED, THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE
> >WOMAN THAT HE IS WITH.
> >He is not willing to commit to her and constantly
> >has his eye open for something better or is waiting
> >for her to become something better. Point blank.
> >When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he
> >will make her his wife.
> >And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it
> >doesn't take 4 or 5 years for that man to figure it
> >out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years either. The only
> >reason that a man will get married after that long
> >of a time is because he's tired of looking for
> >something better. And trust me, that's definitely what
> >he was doing all of those years.
> >So if you should happen to find yourself in one
> >of those "long term" relationships then maybe you
> >should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder
> >what it is that you're missing that this man is not
> >willing to fully commit. Don't make excuses to
> >yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh
> >he's waiting til he gets a better job" or "he's
> >waiting to finish school" or "he's waiting until he
> >moves from his apartment to a house". DON'T FOOL
> >YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED. Which one of
> >those things can't be done with a wife or fiance' by
> >your side?
> >So ladies, when you read this think about your
> >situation and that man that you are living with. Or
> >the one that you spend many nights over his house or
> >him over yours. Think about your baby's father that
> >you are still in a sexual relationship with. Think
> >about your "ex" that you are in a sexual
> >relationship with. Think about your "boyfriend". And definately think
> >twice before you brag on a relationship that's a couple of years long
> >and you still have no commitment.
> >Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the
> >situation. I've been there and I know that we can
> >come up with some extremely reasonable excuses,
> >but.....DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT
> >COMPLICATED.
My immediate question: Is it really as simple as this brotha makes it sound? Are relationships really that easy? Considering the current divorce rates- SHOULD IT BE THAT SIMPLE?
Now on to PART 2:
These questions were posed by one of those on the email list. It would definitely be more than interesting to read comments on the questions.
For everyone on this list that's not married:
When, if ever, does marriage become the goal of a relationship? Are folks getting into relationships in hopes of finding a soulmate, or simply because they enjoy the other person's company? I know that a wife was the last thing I was looking for when I met mine. In fact, I'm still trying to figure out how married men are "supposed" to act. Thus, I'm interested in hearing whether folks are cool to be in a relationship just because as opposed to working towards something permanent.
BY THE WAY, this isn't open to those only on the original e-mail. This was a pretty lively debate in my office between several of the paralegals, partners, and a few of the summer associates and I'm really interested in knowing what everyone thinks generally.
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