The Ex Factor

Yes folks the drama is still raging with the ex factor.... I still care about him entirely too much. I really believed at one point that I could have a viable friendship with him and that it would honestly just be about a friendship. I realized a few days ago that this is a virtual impossibility. You can't be friends with someone you still have feelings for, especially when you haven't had the opportunity to explore the depth of those feelings. I had a convo with some of my ladies on blog today and came to an interesting conclusion. Right now the ex factor has me on a layaway plan- not one that I'm too excited about being placed upon for the sheer and simple fact is that I'm well worth the time and effort it takes to institute a purchase. It's not healthy for me to continue to deal with someone that can't decide whether or not they really want to deal with me. I can see a real future with us but that's not something in the realm of possibility for him right now because I honestly don't believe his mind can fathom such a serious commitment right now. Who knows, it might not ever be something he could contemplate with me. If he truthfully and honestly felt like I could be the one I do think he would make more of an effort to act right.... alas he doesn't. The truth of the matter is that I'm bored. I'm bored in a city I hate doing something I don't particularly like just to say that I've accomplished something. Okay, well while I'm here I haven't encountered anyone that has even held my attention for longer than a fleeting moment. I'm bored so I'm relying on him for the emotional support that I miss and that I'm not getting from other men. He's the prototype right now, and the truth of the matter is that if I had a better or more feasible option i likely wouldn't give that up for the ex. My blog familia suggested that I keep our contact to a minimum and the more i think about the better off it sounds.... we'll see but right now he's exing himself out... haven't talked to him in a couple of days after multiple promises to call back....