Growth and Maturity are irritating as a... MF

Thoughts, rants, ravings, and annoyances

Monday, August 25, 2003

Why you gotta lie Cletus?!
Is it ever any good reason to keep something VERY IMPORTANT from someone you call a close friend? To that question I would respond yes, there is. However, is there ever any good reason not to tell someone that you call a close friend something that is easily discoverable on the internet and many people who aren't close to this person are aware of this fact? The response: HELL NO!!!!!!!!!! I just found out that one of my close friends is soon to be a father- and he's known for the entire 9 months. This would likely be okay if I he hadn't been talking out of both sides of his mouth for the first 6 of those months about his feelings, however torn they were, for me. AAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Why oh why must it be like this?! Is it really necessary? I would say maybe just maybe if he hadn't blatantly lied to me for 9 months that i might be okay. Considering he moved to another city, changed jobs, and now lives with his baby's mother-the issue here is that he lied to me about his rationale and reasons for completing each one of these actions. I can't deal with that level of dishonesty from anyone, espcially someone that I've trusted with so much of my life. I don't easily open myself up to people so when I do it's after a long while. Thus in conclusion, the shower gift will be sent with a nice note and the numbers and e-mail addresses will be deleted and expunged from the record books, leaving no traces. I've grown weary of dealing with dishonesty and bullshit. I'm beginning to understand how bitter people derive their existence. It won't be me, i'm trying to keep my house in order and that's going to require me to take out some trash- Cletus and all the shit he's dropping is the first thing to go. .............................On another note......my blast from the past dropped me a note..... just wanting to check on me and see how I was doing. This is the same individual that I was positioned 6 feet from not less than 3 months ago, however all he could do is stand and stare as my friend and I walked across the marble floors of the church for the grad services. Somehow I just didn't think he cared, and I was alright with that, FOR REAL. He was with his lanky, ewok looking monstrosity that he called his girlfriend so more power to him on that. Again, I probably won't hear from him for another 6 months, maybe more....... and this is what I've come to expect...... him keeping tabs on me, just enough so when he again decides I am a viable option he knows how to reach me. PATHETIC is all I have to say. We dated, we were involved- but you were dirty and although i do believe I really was in love, it would take MORE THAN YOU'D EVER BE WILLING TO DO to have me revisit that......... ENOUGH SAID.......... In conclusion- i must learn to be the gentile southern lady I was raised to be cordial and decent to all but I WILL NOT EXPEND ENERGY DEALING WITH FOOLISHNESS OR ANYONE WHO WANTS TO BRING DRAMA OR ISSUES INTO MY LIFE. I got enough to deal with without all of this excess. So.............Thanks for coming out, good night and God bless.